1. Putin in Russia means "bear killer". When young Vladimir was just a boy of 5 he killed his first bear with, funnily enough, his father's bear shooting rifle.
2. Every August 15th is National Putin day in Russia. The celebrations last 24 hours. Anyone who stops celebrating in that time is executed violently.
3. Vladimir Putin has for the last 11 years been voted the most handsome man in Russia.
4. Vladimir Putin loves hunting but hates gays. One of his favourite things to do is empty his loaded weapon up a gay and have him mounted.
5. In order to prove his manliness and to avenge the wrongs committed on his proud nation by the USA, Vladimir Putin defeated Rocky actor Sylvester Stalone in a charity boxing match.
6. Vladimir Putin has the world's largest collection of Troll Dolls. He has over 75,000 of the big haired little fuckers.
7. Once his political career comes to an end Vladimir Putin has his eyes set firmly on being a Hollywood star. He even makes a cameo in the upcoming Rob Schneider movie "the thinnest premise".
8. Vladimir Putin allegedly has the largest penis in Russia. He bought it at auction a decade ago and it takes centre stage at his lavish Moscow residence.
9. Vladimir Putin has always been a huge comic book fan. A reported 40% of Russia's defence budget is spent on radioactive spiders and gamma radiation blasts to try and give the president his own super powers.
10. Vladimir Putin is a renowned philanthropist, since he became president the number of homeless people in Russia has plummeted. This is because it's illegal to be homeless and the punishment is extermination.
Putin was supposed by here in my country of residence over the weekend but refused come, making him the first ever politician to decline a free trip to the hash and weed capital of the world.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure if I respect him more or less because of that.
Very brave, Litvinenko, Berezovsky....RBA me old mate beware the old Russian Eva Green honeypot trick but in the meantime give her one for me.
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