Space

1. Space was invented in the 1600s by Galileo Galilei Figuero when he made the first telescope, before that it was heaven.

2. Space is bigger than the human mind can comprehend, but if you took all of space and flattened it out it would reach to the moon and back 12 times!

3. NASA was set up by the Christian right in the 1950s. The plan was to send a man into heaven before the Russians did.

4. Aliens are commonly depicted as strange creatures from space who want to fight Will Smith and take over America. But really they are grubby foreign chaps who cling to lorry axles.

5. The planet Earth is in the universe which scientists predict is 14.5 billion years old.  Which means god waited 14,499,994,000 years to build earth.

6. On July 20th 1969 a staggering three billion people watched Sir Neil Armstrong walk on the moon. A TV viewing record which stood until the 2009 Eastenders Christmas special where bad guy Archie Mitchell met his demise at the hands of Wellard the dog. 

7. Before the big bang the universe was in a state called singularity, a dense cold nothingness containing no stars, no mass and not even any atoms. The closest thing scientists can relate it to is ITV's Saturday night line up.

8. When you travel in space you move at light speed. This is because in space there is no gravity. Scientists believe that gravity is unique to earth because when Issac Newton was alive he would not have known about space.

9. Space is filled with stars, and each star is part of a different constellation. Constellations are important because when they line up in different ways they effect the lives of ignorant, gullible women who read awful magazines and tabloid papers.

10. In the 1960s American scientists spent millions developing a pen that would work in zero gravity. The whole time the Russians were just using stenographers!