Hippies

1. Although most famous for their actions in the 1960s hippies have actually been around longer than most of us think. Primitive cave paintings found in France last year clearly show ill informed morons with placards. 

2. We all know that Bob Dylan was the best hippy ever, but who was the worst? Well in 1962 a young Margaret Thatcher was the first and only person to ever be kicked out of the Oxford Association of Hippies. The then future PM is rumoured to have enraged fellow hippies when she turned up at a 'Ban The Bomb' rally and immediately blew up 26 children with a grenade.

3. In 1975 Canadian, Bisto Sandblaster, was supposed to be the first hippy in space. The mission was cancelled though as everyone just got high and listened to the crunchy grooves of Fleetwood Mac. 

4. The richest hippy of all time was Apple Mac Daddy, Steve Jobs. Despite his shrewd business acumen he still held all the principles and values of a real hippy. Apart from the ones about having 5 year old slave labourers building phones in Taiwanese factories. 

5. Hippies are notorious for their repugnant odour, but have you ever wondered why? The reason for the famous stench is because all hippies are born with an inherent fear of soap. 

6. 1967 saw a breakthrough for hippies when Agnes Bumhole became the first ever female hippy. It would be 20 more years before blacks were allowed to join and even today many hippy sects across the world will not allow Jews amongst their ranks.

7. Hippies have a natural disdain for corporations. This is ever since the famous Wall Street crash when a suicidal banker plumped 60 stories and destroyed a hippies parked VW camper.

8. Although often credited to the successes of the D-Day landings and the Russian push on Berlin, World War II's end was really brought about by an enormous drum circle.

9. Most hippies are vegetarian, scientists believe this is why they are all so weak and ineffective. 

10. Although it's origins were rooted in a message of peace and understanding of all of earth's creatures, hippies do occasionally disagree with one another. The best example of this would be the "hippy civil wars" of the mid 1990s. Where a disagreement over ponchos led to the deaths of 120,000 hippies.