Easter

1. Easter has been celebrated in the UK since the 1950s, not that you can call it 'Easter' anymore! This is because of a copyright filed by Bristol Rovers frontman Jermaine Easter.

2. Easter happens in April, but some times in March, basically it's sort of at Spring time and has something to do with the moon. No one really has a clue why that is or when the next one will be.

3. Easter is famous for its choccy eggs, but they are actually a modern addition to the holiday. For hundreds of years children would hunt for dog eggs in local parks at Easter to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus.

4. The largest ever chocolate bunny weighed more than 20,000 tonnes, but it was made from that shit, gritty American chocolate. Yuck!

5. What do eggs and bunnies have to do with Jesus? Well nothing actually, they represent the reproductive awakenings of Spring, but it would be weird and gross to give kids chocolate spunk and ovaries!

6. Eggs were a symbol of life to the Ancient Egyptians, Persians, Romans, Greeks, Pagans & even the Incas! But Easter is all about Jesus and not any of them false gods. It's always been about Jesus.

7. In medieval times, a festival of 'egg-throwing' was held in church. The priest would throw a hard-boiled egg to one of the choir boys, and then tossed from one choir boy to the next. When the clock struck 12, whoever held the egg was the winner and was brutally slaughtered in a blood sacrifice to appease the Lord.

8. Easter celebrates the resurrection of Christ and is the oldest Christian celebration (even older than Xmas!) But the holiday was originally put together by greedy egg farmers looking to shift tainted eggs to religious zealots.

9. Easter eggs have been popular for years, but in the UK if you were to write 'Easter' on an Easter egg you would probably go to jail for a hundred years for offending the Muslims or one of them lot, probably.

10. Before Easter Sunday, where Jesus was resurrected, you have Good Friday, where JC was killed-up, but did you know that before that you have 'Maundy Thursday'? Nobody knows what a fucking 'Maundy' is.