Amazon.com

1. Amazon was famously founded in a garage,  but what's not so well known is the garage it was founded in was Walford's own 'Arches' garage from TV's Eastenders.

2. Although nowadays you can buy almost anything from Amazon the company actually started out as a book store? A book is a type of foldable printed internet.

3. Amazon's warehouse is HUGE. Can you imagine a warehouse that could stretch from here to the moon? Well you could store that warehouse in the Amazon warehouse.

4. Today Amazon has over 117,000 employees, and some of them are paid an OK wage.

5. Before becoming one of the darlings of silicon valley, Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos was best known as TV's Mr Belding in teen hit 'Saved By The Bell'.

6. The first book ever sold on Amazon was 'Clitoris Allsorts' by Roy Chubby Brown.

7. Amazon now manufacture and sell a huge range of original products, such as the Amazon 'Kindle' eReader and the Amazon 'Alexa' smart speaker. Well thanks to Jeff Bezos' obsession with sex robots you could soon own an Amazon 'Doris' eWife.

8. Amazon employs over 15,000 robots in their warehouses and at present it is unknown how many Jeff Bezos has had sex with.

9. The President of the United States, Donald J Trump has publicly criticised Amazon. This is because of the Post Office or something and has nothing to do with Jeff Bezos also owning the Washington Post. It definitely isn't a cynical attempt to undermine a critics stock prices as that would be a sickening abuse of power.

10. A handful of former Amazon employees have gone on to found blockbuster companies of their own, including Hulu, Quora, Whible, Splunk and Titbox.

Boris Johnson

1. Boris Johnson's full name is "Boris Alexander Cecil Pfeffel Windermere Galahad Dwayne The Rock Johnson"

2. Given his conservative political stance, you might be surprised to learn that Boris’ mother Charlotte has a rather lefty job – she's TV's Alan Carr!

3. While studying at Oxford, Boris was part of the elitist and extremely secretive all-male Bullingdon Club. It’s been reported that members regularly acted like proper cunts.

4. Along with racial controversy, Boris has said some offensive things about Gay and Trans Rights, Millennials, Jack Russel Terriers, Sandwiches, Paul Hogan and lots of other things for his Times column. In fact Boris can say offensive things about almost anything. And to a deadline!

5. Boris has penned numerous books over the years, including ones about Puppy Murder, Latin for Racists and numerous volumes of homo-erotic Chuckle Brothers fan fiction.

6. After an affair with art consultant Helen Macintyre, Boris became the father to a baby girl in 2010. The couple tried to keep the child’s paternity a secret, because Boris is a truly awful human being.

7. In March 2018 following a chemical attack on a former Russian spy, Boris said the attack was definitely committed by Russia. But now that might not be true, which is a terrible mistake for a foreign secretary to make. But he'll probably say something in Latin about Golly-Wogs soon so it all be total bants anyway.

8. Boris Johnson is really just 3 highly trained Capybaras in a suit.

9. Most people think Bojo wants to be Prime Minister because of how he lies and fucks up the country all the time in an obvious effort to be PM. But his real dream job is to be a stunt man!

10. Boris rose to fame after his now famous appearances as the guest host on CBBC's "Get Your Own Back", filling in for Dave Benson Phillips.

Data Security

1. When you go online you leave behind tiny pieces of data - this data can be exploited to profile you to see if you're susceptible to obvious lies and racist hyperbole.

2. More computer data has been created in the last 30 years than it had in the previous 2000 years!

3. We actually create data all the time! In the time it has taken to read these first 3 facts, people have performed over 30,000,000 Google searches and almost a dozen Bing searches.

4. We are all at risk from having our data stolen so we must all be really careful about what we share online. Unless you have a great picture or something that will get loads of likes, then it's probably ok.

5. In 2009 computer scientists discovered BIG DATA, which is like regular data but much bigger. Sometimes the data is so big it has to be stored in specially converted warehouses and aeroplane hangers.

6. British firm Cambridge Analytica used stolen data to identify potential Trump and Brexit voters by getting people to complete an "Are you a big racist that cares little for facts?" survey.

7. Data is harvested using 'smart' devices. A smart device is a computer that spies on you but it's not in a computer, it's in like a camera or a speaker or your fridge and stuff and involves Wi-Fi.

8. Data is kept in 'the cloud' which is actually a complex network of servers, not an actual cloud! So don't expect Michael Fish to help you with your data, he is shit with computers and recently fell for one of those 'Nigerian Lottery' emails.

9. Data profiling can tell researchers more about you than your partner's and family could. This is because you're practically unknowable and desperately need to open up more.

10. Staying safe online sounds easy, like how hard is it to beat up some specky nerd with an Amstrad? But it's actually really hard because the people who steal your data are often miles away, usually in Russia or their mum and dad's basement.

Easter

1. Easter has been celebrated in the UK since the 1950s, not that you can call it 'Easter' anymore! This is because of a copyright filed by Bristol Rovers frontman Jermaine Easter.

2. Easter happens in April, but some times in March, basically it's sort of at Spring time and has something to do with the moon. No one really has a clue why that is or when the next one will be.

3. Easter is famous for its choccy eggs, but they are actually a modern addition to the holiday. For hundreds of years children would hunt for dog eggs in local parks at Easter to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus.

4. The largest ever chocolate bunny weighed more than 20,000 tonnes, but it was made from that shit, gritty American chocolate. Yuck!

5. What do eggs and bunnies have to do with Jesus? Well nothing actually, they represent the reproductive awakenings of Spring, but it would be weird and gross to give kids chocolate spunk and ovaries!

6. Eggs were a symbol of life to the Ancient Egyptians, Persians, Romans, Greeks, Pagans & even the Incas! But Easter is all about Jesus and not any of them false gods. It's always been about Jesus.

7. In medieval times, a festival of 'egg-throwing' was held in church. The priest would throw a hard-boiled egg to one of the choir boys, and then tossed from one choir boy to the next. When the clock struck 12, whoever held the egg was the winner and was brutally slaughtered in a blood sacrifice to appease the Lord.

8. Easter celebrates the resurrection of Christ and is the oldest Christian celebration (even older than Xmas!) But the holiday was originally put together by greedy egg farmers looking to shift tainted eggs to religious zealots.

9. Easter eggs have been popular for years, but in the UK if you were to write 'Easter' on an Easter egg you would probably go to jail for a hundred years for offending the Muslims or one of them lot, probably.

10. Before Easter Sunday, where Jesus was resurrected, you have Good Friday, where JC was killed-up, but did you know that before that you have 'Maundy Thursday'? Nobody knows what a fucking 'Maundy' is.