Amazon.com

1. Amazon was famously founded in a garage,  but what's not so well known is the garage it was founded in was Walford's own 'Arches' garage from TV's Eastenders.

2. Although nowadays you can buy almost anything from Amazon the company actually started out as a book store? A book is a type of foldable printed internet.

3. Amazon's warehouse is HUGE. Can you imagine a warehouse that could stretch from here to the moon? Well you could store that warehouse in the Amazon warehouse.

4. Today Amazon has over 117,000 employees, and some of them are paid an OK wage.

5. Before becoming one of the darlings of silicon valley, Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos was best known as TV's Mr Belding in teen hit 'Saved By The Bell'.

6. The first book ever sold on Amazon was 'Clitoris Allsorts' by Roy Chubby Brown.

7. Amazon now manufacture and sell a huge range of original products, such as the Amazon 'Kindle' eReader and the Amazon 'Alexa' smart speaker. Well thanks to Jeff Bezos' obsession with sex robots you could soon own an Amazon 'Doris' eWife.

8. Amazon employs over 15,000 robots in their warehouses and at present it is unknown how many Jeff Bezos has had sex with.

9. The President of the United States, Donald J Trump has publicly criticised Amazon. This is because of the Post Office or something and has nothing to do with Jeff Bezos also owning the Washington Post. It definitely isn't a cynical attempt to undermine a critics stock prices as that would be a sickening abuse of power.

10. A handful of former Amazon employees have gone on to found blockbuster companies of their own, including Hulu, Quora, Whible, Splunk and Titbox.

Boris Johnson

1. Boris Johnson's full name is "Boris Alexander Cecil Pfeffel Windermere Galahad Dwayne The Rock Johnson"

2. Given his conservative political stance, you might be surprised to learn that Boris’ mother Charlotte has a rather lefty job – she's TV's Alan Carr!

3. While studying at Oxford, Boris was part of the elitist and extremely secretive all-male Bullingdon Club. It’s been reported that members regularly acted like proper cunts.

4. Along with racial controversy, Boris has said some offensive things about Gay and Trans Rights, Millennials, Jack Russel Terriers, Sandwiches, Paul Hogan and lots of other things for his Times column. In fact Boris can say offensive things about almost anything. And to a deadline!

5. Boris has penned numerous books over the years, including ones about Puppy Murder, Latin for Racists and numerous volumes of homo-erotic Chuckle Brothers fan fiction.

6. After an affair with art consultant Helen Macintyre, Boris became the father to a baby girl in 2010. The couple tried to keep the child’s paternity a secret, because Boris is a truly awful human being.

7. In March 2018 following a chemical attack on a former Russian spy, Boris said the attack was definitely committed by Russia. But now that might not be true, which is a terrible mistake for a foreign secretary to make. But he'll probably say something in Latin about Golly-Wogs soon so it all be total bants anyway.

8. Boris Johnson is really just 3 highly trained Capybaras in a suit.

9. Most people think Bojo wants to be Prime Minister because of how he lies and fucks up the country all the time in an obvious effort to be PM. But his real dream job is to be a stunt man!

10. Boris rose to fame after his now famous appearances as the guest host on CBBC's "Get Your Own Back", filling in for Dave Benson Phillips.

Data Security

1. When you go online you leave behind tiny pieces of data - this data can be exploited to profile you to see if you're susceptible to obvious lies and racist hyperbole.

2. More computer data has been created in the last 30 years than it had in the previous 2000 years!

3. We actually create data all the time! In the time it has taken to read these first 3 facts, people have performed over 30,000,000 Google searches and almost a dozen Bing searches.

4. We are all at risk from having our data stolen so we must all be really careful about what we share online. Unless you have a great picture or something that will get loads of likes, then it's probably ok.

5. In 2009 computer scientists discovered BIG DATA, which is like regular data but much bigger. Sometimes the data is so big it has to be stored in specially converted warehouses and aeroplane hangers.

6. British firm Cambridge Analytica used stolen data to identify potential Trump and Brexit voters by getting people to complete an "Are you a big racist that cares little for facts?" survey.

7. Data is harvested using 'smart' devices. A smart device is a computer that spies on you but it's not in a computer, it's in like a camera or a speaker or your fridge and stuff and involves Wi-Fi.

8. Data is kept in 'the cloud' which is actually a complex network of servers, not an actual cloud! So don't expect Michael Fish to help you with your data, he is shit with computers and recently fell for one of those 'Nigerian Lottery' emails.

9. Data profiling can tell researchers more about you than your partner's and family could. This is because you're practically unknowable and desperately need to open up more.

10. Staying safe online sounds easy, like how hard is it to beat up some specky nerd with an Amstrad? But it's actually really hard because the people who steal your data are often miles away, usually in Russia or their mum and dad's basement.

Easter

1. Easter has been celebrated in the UK since the 1950s, not that you can call it 'Easter' anymore! This is because of a copyright filed by Bristol Rovers frontman Jermaine Easter.

2. Easter happens in April, but some times in March, basically it's sort of at Spring time and has something to do with the moon. No one really has a clue why that is or when the next one will be.

3. Easter is famous for its choccy eggs, but they are actually a modern addition to the holiday. For hundreds of years children would hunt for dog eggs in local parks at Easter to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus.

4. The largest ever chocolate bunny weighed more than 20,000 tonnes, but it was made from that shit, gritty American chocolate. Yuck!

5. What do eggs and bunnies have to do with Jesus? Well nothing actually, they represent the reproductive awakenings of Spring, but it would be weird and gross to give kids chocolate spunk and ovaries!

6. Eggs were a symbol of life to the Ancient Egyptians, Persians, Romans, Greeks, Pagans & even the Incas! But Easter is all about Jesus and not any of them false gods. It's always been about Jesus.

7. In medieval times, a festival of 'egg-throwing' was held in church. The priest would throw a hard-boiled egg to one of the choir boys, and then tossed from one choir boy to the next. When the clock struck 12, whoever held the egg was the winner and was brutally slaughtered in a blood sacrifice to appease the Lord.

8. Easter celebrates the resurrection of Christ and is the oldest Christian celebration (even older than Xmas!) But the holiday was originally put together by greedy egg farmers looking to shift tainted eggs to religious zealots.

9. Easter eggs have been popular for years, but in the UK if you were to write 'Easter' on an Easter egg you would probably go to jail for a hundred years for offending the Muslims or one of them lot, probably.

10. Before Easter Sunday, where Jesus was resurrected, you have Good Friday, where JC was killed-up, but did you know that before that you have 'Maundy Thursday'? Nobody knows what a fucking 'Maundy' is.

Guns

1. Guns were invented by Michael Winner in 1974 as a plot device for the hit Charles Bronson movie "Death Wish".

2. Guns are great for self-defence. Mainly defending men with micro-penises from the crippling sense of inadequacy their tiny willies give them.

3. Guns don't kill people, people kill people. Well, bullets kill people, and people buy bullets and shoot people with bullets using guns. But guns don't kill people, or something.

4. In America there are more guns than people! But this is only because most people in America have been killed by guns.

5. It's not just racist policeman and the mentally ill who love guns, many Hollywood celebs do also. None more so than the leader of the Decepticons, Megatron.

6. The only worse thing than a 'bad guy with a gun' is a teenager with a Twitter account. Because guns only hurt body parts, but teens hurt feelings and are dumb faced jerks.

7. Most people think of gun manufacturers as ruthless, greedy and blood-thirsty. But in reality they are far, far worse.

8. Every year millions of people are killed by guns, which sounds bad. But when you think about how fucking cool and sexy guns are, it's actually not that bad.

9. The most controversial gun in the world is the AR-15. This is because it was the first openly homosexual fire-arm to be sold to the public.

10. Hundreds of years ago there were no guns and no horrific mass shootings. But the mass shootings we have nowadays are nothing to do with guns and are more to do with MTV and computer games.

Jeremy Corbyn

1. Jeremy Corbyn is best known for his current job leading the Labour party, but before that he was famed 80s action hero Steven Segals.

2. Jeremy Corbyn invented the beard in 1982, but was screwed out of the royalties by his former partner and best friend Noel Edmonds.

3. Lots of people say that JC is an anti-Semite, but this is a completely false statement and is only brought up by his detractors because he keeps doing lots of Anti-Semitic things.

4. Jeremy's famous allotment is so famous it has it's own Facebook page! However the page is filled with lots of anti-Semitism and is best avoided.

5. John McDonnel is JC's best friend ever. They have a sleep over and jammy party every Saturday night and if they are good their mums will let them watch Predator!

6. In 2017 JC performed on the main stage at the Glastonbury festival. However he was running in an election and that really wasn't the time to fulfill his childish dreams.

7. London's 'Grime' scene has taken the Labour leader in as one of its own. But this isn't because of Jeremy's socialist views, its because of the hot 16 he dropped on JME during a heated rap battle in 2006.

8. Jeremy Corbyn made all of his money selling high risk penny stocks to vulnerable investors during the 1980s.

9. JC rose to prominence in 2015 winning the Labour leadership as a 250 to 1 outsider. Beating off the favourite contender, The Stig, from BBCs TopGear.

10. Jeremy Corbyn worked as a research scientist in the 1970s. During this time he was bombarded with Gamma radiation leaving him with a condition similar to The Incredible Hulk. If he were to ever get angry he could destroy the whole world! This is why he's such a massive pussy.